Is My Child Ready for Kindergarten???

Yesterday I was able to do a presentation with Dr. Kush (my great boss!) to a lovely group of pre-school moms who are about to venture into the world of Kindergarten. I wanted to take some time to share some research based findings and tips with you regarding Kindergarten and the early childhood years!

The best advice I can give you is to do your homework and read the research! I want to provide you with some current research regarding the AGE your child should start Kindergarten. In California, the cut off has been 5 years old by December. That means that we have been sending 4 YEAR OLDS to Kindergarten! The state has recently CHANGED this because they were finding it to be disastrous as 18% of those kids were failing and not socially ready. The new law is now 5 years old by September 1st of which the state is going to take 3 years to move it back one month at a time.

Research tells us that:

oChildren who are older when they begin school have higher levels of academic achievement (i.e., higher scores on tests or higher grades received) than the younger children

 oChildren who are older when they begin school have more success in maintaining a regular progression from one grade level to the next than do their younger counterparts

oChildren who are older when they begin school achieve at a higher level than their younger peers in terms of grades and scores on scholastic tests.  These studies found persistent effects through grade 4, grade 6, and grade 10

oTeachers rate the performance of older children “better”, girls at a higher level, and older children as being more popular and exhibiting more socially acceptable behavior

Research also tells us that: 

• Children who are younger receive more referrals to psychological counseling that result from academic rather than behavioral (i.e., social or emotional) concerns

• Children who are younger have more difficulty with social skills.  This results in younger children being disliked and showing more aggression than their older counterparts.
• Children who are younger are not able to overcome a lower ranking throughout their elementary years.

Basically what this is telling us is that the MOST important factor in a child's success in school is what

age they are in relation to their peers in the class. My opinion is, even if your child is the tallest, smartest 

kid in your pre-school class, if he is the youngest, do not send him yet. Just wait. You won't regret it! In 

all my years of education, I have NEVER had a parent regret holding their child back for another year 

of pre-school or Kindergarten, BUT i have had countless parents regret sending them on or pushing

them forward knowing they were the younger of the bunch. Here's another thing to point out...if your 

child is relatively advanced for their age, that is wonderful and SO great for their self esteem. However, 

most kids all even out around 3rd, 4th and 5th grade. The early years are very developmental, some kids 

just "click" a little bit later - and that is OK! Don't get caught up in the race...let your kid be a kid, he will 

be fine! 

Most important thing is that your child LOVES learning and the school experience. You don't want to 

set your child up for having to tutor and spend hours doing homework at home just to try and "keep up" 

with their peers. (Absolutely no positive research for this by the way - only harmful). You also don't 

want them to be socially not ready for where their peers are at. Much bigger consequences here in my 

opinion.I have always urged parents to think about their child in 5, 10, and 15 years. How old do you

want them to be when you send them off to college? Do you want them to be the last in their class to get 

their driver's license? The smallest on the football team? No. Of course not, but the age at which you 

start Kindergarten affects all of that. 

An excellent book to read on this subject is OUTLIERS, The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell.

I HIGHLY recommend it. I find that Dads especially enjoy this one. A MUST read! Ok, so don't worry 

about what your friends are doing, your sister,  your neighbors, ....just know what is best for YOUR 

family and for YOUR child...nothing else matters! Put the flashcards away, stop studying for your 

Kindergarten entrance exams and go to the park - play, explore, and have fun with your precious little 

people! They will soon be driving off to college. :( 

Get out there and Play!

Heather 

The Wedding Day

So my sweet Husband and I celebrated our 2nd Wedding Anniversary yesterday! I know, two years -we made it! :) Obviously, I am in no position to write articles on marriage - most would laugh at the thought with only 2 years under our belt. 

We watched our wedding video together last night and it was a precious thing to do together. In the midst of babies and cleaning and working and pregnancy and Christmas parties and decorating and laundry and scheduling and emails and phone calls and cooking and planning and.... it was so peaceful to just sit and reflect on the JOY of that day. 

Someone I love and respect told me that every year on their anniversary they watch their wedding video... I can see why. A tradition has been born in our home! 

I Love My Husband, 

Happy Wife

Love for Learning vs. Desire for Cheating

Sweet Fans in the Front Row

I had the absolute pleasure yesterday to speak to hundreds of teachers at the ACSI Teachers Convention in Anaheim. For those that were there, thanks so much for coming, it was a JOY to see your smiling face in the crowd! My presentation was titled, "Motivating Kids, Change Your Life and Theirs". It was beyond encouraging to see so many teachers desiring practical tips to encourage and motivate their students. They have caught on to the secret - motivating kids is the most POWERFUL tool we have as teachers and parents resulting in happy, confident kids that LOVES LEARNING! 

I was speaking to a friend who along with her husband has successfully raised 3 beautiful children. All their kids (who I used to babysit!) are very successful with thriving careers and opportunities in front of them. And they are happy! She told me that as parents they never 'pushed' their kids or put 'pressure' on them, they simply fostered in them a LOVE FOR LEARNING. How simple! They wanted their kids to be able to THINK and LEARN for themselves, not just "pass a test" or "get into the right college". Amazing thing is, they accomplished all those things in the process! 

In the movie, Race to Nowhere which I HIGHLY recommend for all you parents and teachers out there, they share some staggering statistics from recent research studies. One of the most shocking is 40% of all college freshman across the country have to take remedial classes as they are not prepared for the basic freshman level courses at the University level. Why is this? Well because they are ALL CHEATING! Another statistic shared is that today between 75 and 98% of college students surveyed report cheating their way through high school. So this straight A student gets to college and all of a sudden they are required to THINK and apply the information they have supposedly learned, but they can't. Why? Because they haven't really learned anything, they have just "beat the system".

I was in a staff meeting about a year ago with a room full of professors from Point Loma Nazarene University. A discussion started about the shift they have seen in their students over the last 10-15 years. Students are saying things now like, "What exactly do I have to know for the test", "Will this be on the test?", "How many paragraphs does it have to be", "Can you send me your notes and any thing I can do for extra credit since I will be missing class..." Our kids are becoming so conditioned to produce what WE want from them that we are stifling their ability to learn. 

What can we do to make sure our kids don't fall into this? Here are some suggestions!

• Model your love for learning and teach them every chance you get - when you drive, clean, go on walks, go to the store, travel, when going out to eat, when shopping.... Use EVERYTHING as an opportunity for learning! 
• READ to your kids everyday! Let them see the power and joy that is in a book! Read them books that are above their level and leave them "hanging" until the next day when you pick the book back up again. (The Narnia series is a favorite for many!) 
• We know that enhanced effort enhances achievement. So focus on your kids EFFORTS and not their grades. Let them know that all that matters is that they do their "best". When a child races through a workbook page or assignment, have them point out their best work and what they could do better. Then PRAISE their efforts. (Take the focus off of the race to finish and on to a passion for excellence!) 
• Don't allow for "homework time" to be a fighting crying nightmare. Find out what motivates YOUR child and do whatever you can to MOTIVATE them during this time! I have tons of ideas on this one, I will post it later or you can email me. Some of my favorites though - have a nice quiet place that they do their homework at everyday. Be consistent with WHEN you do homework in your house. Set a timer for them, have all their supplies for them, pencils, crayons, paper, water, apples, snacks.... Let them know when the "timer" goes off or when they are done what FUN activity awaits them! And please please please don't let your junior higher do their homework in their room by themselves with a computer and phone. Not a good idea. More info to come on that one. 

I have seen kids be TRANSFORMED by doing some of the things listed above. I have known kids that hated school, cried all the time before going, had tummy aches, begged not to go. Might of looked like this: 

Same kid, different environment and strategies applied - they LOVED school and couldn't wait to get there everyday, loved reading, loved doing their homework. They fell in love with learning! And their parents couldn't be happier! 

It's on us to figure out how to motivate our kids, not on them...and most kids are pretty easy to figure out if you work at it. 

So get after it, change YOUR life and THEIRS! 

Happy Thanksgiving Friends

Some trust in cars....

Psalm 20:7 

Some trusts in chariots, and some in horses; 

But WE trust in the name of the 

Lord our God! 

My entire life I have had car troubles. I always envied those that drove nice, new cars without a care in the world. "What a life" I would think! It was made clear to me early on that that was not going to be the case for me! Reflecting on the "car days of my youth" It taught me a lot. It taught me that usually those most willing to help were those that were in the same (or worse) situation as me. It taught me to have open hands with each day as I never knew what was in store.  It taught me of the JOYS that come from helping others when it is in your power to do so. It taught me that the Lord was faithful as He always provided for me - even if it was not my ideal situation.

When I got married, my precious husband had an amazing car, my dream car to be honest. He decided that it would be best if I drove it for gas mileage and safety purposes and that he would drive mine. Quick to submit to my husband’s leadership, all was well! I thought my car troubles were over, my day had come! This was what I had been waiting for! 

Well about 4 MONTHS AGO my dream car gave us a scare while I was driving with Gracie on the freeway and we had to take it in to get "checked out". Had I known then as we were dropping it off that I would be saying goodbye to the vehicle for 4 MONTHS, I likely would of been devastated. But alas, I kept in good spirits each week. For a while that is.   

Todd and I shared a car over the last 4 months. Between carpools with my adoring mom, walking to Target (I live a mile away!) and Todd having a flexible work situation, we made it work. He, however, will likely tell you that some days my attitude was better than others! I did try to constantly remind myself that most in the world don't even have one car and that we were very blessed with what we DID have. Such a selfish America we live in these days! Shame on me. 

One morning I was doing a Bible study and came across the verse, Psalm 20:7. Not only did I come across it, but also the Bible study recommended that be my verse to memorize for the week. Ironic. 

I started to reflect on the verse and it hit me. At the time that this verse was written, the means of transportation was by horses and chariots.  It hit me over the head that some put their trust in "driving themselves", in planning out their day, getting behind the wheel (or horse) and heading out on the day that THEY have planned for themselves. There is no need to trust in the Lord, they have everything taken care of, they are set. 

BUT some don't have this luxury. Some are not able or simply CHOOSE not to trust in the road they have laid out and CHOOSE to trust in the Lord.  They CHOOSE to put their trust in where HE drives them, where HE leads them, where HE chooses is best. Oh the blessing that comes from trusting the Lord and knowing he is in control. "Plans to prosper, not to harm"... 

I realized that I would much rather put my life in the hands of the creator of the Universe than to scramble around trying to drive around and figure everything out on my own. I realized that trusting the LORD to take care of me and my family each day without access to a vehicle was a lot more peaceful than relying on myself because everything seemed to be going rather well and I could control my own day without a care in the world. Funny how trials reveal things to you isn't it?! 

It took me 4 months to learn this lesson because we got our car back yesterday. I would be lying if I said the smile has left my face, I am a giddy girl. BUT I am so thankful for this small trial as it taught me more than I have learned in a while. 

So Buckle Up! No matter which road you choose, you are going to need your seat belt!

Multiplication Mastery - Help is Here!

There is no way around it, kids HAVE to memorize their multiplication tables. You know it and they kind of know it. This time of having to master their multiplication tables tends to make or break students and can be one of the most frustrating experiences for them, and for YOU! I am going to share with you the secret I have found that I truly believe offers success for ALL STUDENTS! If it is implemented at school, GREAT, if not - then try it at home. I promise it will work. I can't think of one student I had that it didn't work with - yes, all my former students with their wide ranges of learning abilities.

The Secret: Repetition, Motivation, Repetition, Motivation, Repetition, Motivation!


Purchase: Buy the Saxon Multiplication Wrap Ups. Do it now. (Favorite things page) Make sure to get the yellow ones with the red strings. They are cheap too!

How to use:  

When you get the wrap ups, undo them so they are all individual. It will come looking like this: 

You will want them all separated so it will look like this individually: 

 Make sure each one has a red string tied to it. Read through the directions on how to use it. Basically, you match the product and factors. So if you are on your "5s" when you see a "7" you are going to wrap the string to the  "35" because 5 X 7 = 35. When you see a "4" you are going to match it to a "20" because 5 X 4 = 20 and so on. When you are done, turn the Wrap Up over and all the lines sketched into the wrap up should match up with the red string. Great assessment for them to see right away if they are correct.


Motivate: Show your child how to do it and let them practice with the ones....Pretty easy for them to start off with. They will likely be motivated to go faster and faster, if not, then motivate them! My favorite method is to have a timer there. Ready, Set, Go and start the timer. Their goal is to beat THEIR time. They will want to keep going and going...Once they have "beat" a reasonable time (which I have mine listed below) then they can add a wrap up...So if they have passed their "1s" then give them their "2s". Now they have to do BOTH wrap ups, one after the other, and try to beat their time until the reasonable time is met. Then add another and so on.. If your child is struggling, have a simple "cheat sheet" for them to look at while they are doing the wrap up. Have a timer available for them so they can practice on their own or let them know you are available to time them when they are ready. Eventually, because they have repeated it so often in their head AND been doing something kinesthetic, they won't need it anymore. (They can only "pass" a level when the cheat sheet has been removed but let them decide when they are ready for this next step). Here is the time chart that I use.

Wrap Up Time Chart

They “pass” when they have them all complete and correct in the given time.

I give them out in this order to spark some success quickly! (Easier ones first)

Wrap Up Time to Complete

1’s          30 Seconds

10’s           45 seconds

                 5’s             1 minute, 15 seconds 

                 2’s             1 minute 30 Seconds

 3’s              2 Minutes

                   7’s             2 Minutes 15 Seconds

                 4’s              2 minute 45 Seconds

                    9’s              3 minutes 15 Seconds

                 11’s           3 Minutes 30 Seconds

                   6’s             3 Minutes 45 Seconds

                 8’s             4 minute 15 Seconds

                 12’s            4 minute 45 Seconds 

So basically their goal is to complete ALL 12 WRAP UPS in 4 minutes and 45 seconds. You are going to want to help them with organization and having them all ready before they are "timed". All unwrapped with the strings ready to go will give them the best shot! :) 

Rewards:  Typically I found that simply getting another wrap up and moving up a "level" was reward enough. A sticker chart is great too for them to visibly see their progress. Can never hurt to give some type of treasure box award each time they move up a level and beat the recommended time.

Why it works: They are repeating the factors over and over again in their head and doing something kinesthetically reaching a variety of learning styles! Add the motivation component which means they will put forth more effort and you have a winner!

Listen: Find as many multiplication sing-song type CD's that you can find online and get them. There are thousands, I won't list them here. Just google "Multiplication Songs" Play them in the car, sing along with them. Cars are amazing places for learning opportunities! Start as early as 1st and 2nd grade...3rd grade will be here before you know it, might as well get a head start! Also, tons of free things on the internet, hundreds and hundreds of free multiplication games...

Feel free to email me if you need some additional directions, I'm happy to help!
Good Luck out There!

The AMAZING Benefits of Family Dinner Time!

The benefits of eating dinner together as a family are staggering! In a time where Moms and Dads are doing their best to balance, work, social events, responsibilities and their children’s CRAZY schedules, it has sadly become obsolete in our culture.  According to a study by A.C. Nielsen Co. ‘The average parent spends 38.5 minutes per week in meaningful conversation with their children. Perhaps if parents knew the LIFE-LONG BENEFITS of eating dinner together as a family, they would do everything within their power to protect this precious time of day.

According to the National Center on Addiction & Substance Abuse at Columbia University (2007), teenagers who eat with their families at least five times a week are more likely to get better grades in school and much less likely to have substance abuse problems. It found teens having family dinners five or more times a week were 42 percent less likely to drink alcohol, 59 percent less likely to smoke cigarettes, and 66 percent less likely to try marijuana. The survey also found that frequent family dinners were associated with better school performance, with teens 40 percent more likely to get A's and B's. Here’s some more for you: Children and teens who have more than 3 meals together as a family per week are:

At 70% lower risk for substance abuse

Half as likely to try cigarettes

Half as likely to be daily cigarette smokers

Half as likely to try marijuana

Half as likely to get drunk monthly

One third less likely to try alcohol

Likelier to get better grades in school

Less likely to have friends who drink alcohol & use marijuana

Almost 40% likelier to say future drug use will never happen

Want some more reasons? Here ya go!

Language Development: A Harvard University study found that family dinners were the most important family events in helping children develop language skills.“Family dinners are more important than play, story time and other family events in the development of vocabulary of younger children.” (Harvard Research, 1996) Eating Disorders: “Adolescent girls who have frequent family meals, and a positive atmosphere during those meals, are less likely to have eating disorders”. (University of Minnesota, 2004)

I thought it was very interesting that all of the studies I read mentioned the “dinner time” together must be ENJOYABLE. It is a time for nourishment, comfort and support.  A time for your family to gether safely. This might sound too Beaver Cleaver for some of you (who I know have already thrown your hands up and said, “Ya Right!”)  and to others it sounds like a dream they wish could come true. For those that desire the outcomes mentioned above for your family, here are some tips I have gathered over the years from those amazing parents I like to call “Parent Extraordinaires” as well as Web MD  and my other good friend, Super Nanny!

• Set a small goal and start from there. Perhaps 2X a week and try to build up!
• Keep it simple – Family Dinners don’t have to be elaborate. Even ordering take-out is fine, just eat it together!
• Get the family involved in setting the table and helping you get ready. I KNOW they aren’t as fast as you, but they are feeling like they are contributing and learning. Remember, you are training them with every part of your day. Encourage them on what a HELP they are to you!
• Keep the TV off and don’t answer phones or texts during meals. This let’s your kids know that there is nothing more important in the world than them! Plus, it’s just rude. J
• Share stories from when you were kids! Our kids LOVE to hear about when we were little! It establishes fun memories and someday they will be re-telling them to their children!
• Play “Peaks and Pits”. Anyone ever asked their child how their day was just to hear the sweet answer of, “Fine”. Well, it is AMAZING what you can find out about your child’s day by playing this simple game. Peak = The BEST part of your day. Pit = The WORST part of your day. Start with yourself at first to model how it’s done and this will surely become a highlight of the day for you.
• This is not the time to have a serious discussion. It’s a time to just let some things go for the sake of peace and enjoyment together.
• Don’t make it a food battle. Your little one shouldn’t be crying because they STILL have to eat 4 more bites of their vegetables EVERY DAY. Super Nanny has the BEST advice when it comes to this in order to avoid the “dinner time battle”.  
• Establish how long dinner time will be           
• Put their plate with a few choices on it for them to eat 
• They don’t have to eat if they don’t want to, but explain that when dinner is over, the plate will be gone and you will not serve them anything else. No battle, just collect the plate at the end of the meal. 
• Child might go to bed hungry, might not. They will not die if they go to bed without dinner but they will soon realize that dinner time is their one time shot to eat up.  Give it a couple days, be consistent with it,  and it won’t be an issue anymore.

           

           

Eating dinner together every day is one of THE most valuable things you can do together as a family. It has countless opportunities  for your children as well as provides the opportunity to model positive relationships, establish family traditions, create life-long memories, teach values, and provide a sense of safety for your kids. I just LOVE this stuff. Absolutely Priceless. 

Bon Appetit! 

The Master Teacher!

 

Kids learn when they KNOW you love/like them. If this is true, then kids don't learn if they think you don't like/love them. I might not have a research study to support this one, but I have countless stories and faces that I could tell of to prove it. One year, Sweet Susie Q has an amazing year! Her parents are thrilled,  she can't wait to get to school each morning, and her grades are posted proudly on the fridge. Next year, same Sweet Susie, opposite story. Why?  Pretty simple. Susie does well when Susie is loved on and encouraged! Susie doesn't do well when Susie is fearful of being disliked and discouraged. 

As teachers and parents we have such a huge responsibility. We might not of asked for it, but it's ours! With such an overwhelming role to play, we need a Master Teacher we can learn from. Surely there has been no greater teacher than Jesus. He was THE perfect teacher. I find 3 simple reasons that He was the PERFECT teacher: 

* He taught Truth

* He modeled it in love

* He proved that He meant it

I Corinthians 14:1 says, "If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels (knowledge/truth) but have not LOVE I have become a noisy gong or a clanging symbol. 

Jesus' students (The Disciples)  KNEW that He loved them. How do we know this? Because He told them over and over and then He proved it by dying for them. The Disciples LOVED Jesus in return. How do we know this? Because they all, except one, ended up dying for Him! (I John 1:9) 

By the end of their time together, the Disciples wanted to soak up every word that Jesus said. They couldn't wait to learn! 

If kids KNOW that you love them, if you tell them and you prove it to them, they too will want to learn! It will motivate them in a classroom like nothing else! Love is better than a treasure box, a ticket, a star or sticker - it will motivate them like nothing you have ever seen!!!! I think a lot of times we assume that our kids know we love them because we sacrifice so much for them. Maybe, maybe not.  Don't risk it, go to bed without a doubt! :)

Sisters

We found out some big news this week! 

Baby Girl Dalton expected to arrive around March 2nd, 2011. 18 months after her sister! 

This means that our sweet baby girl Gracie is going to have a sweet sister. Can you think of a better gift to give her? I couldn't be more excited for her! They are only going to be about 18 months apart, so Im praying NOW that they will be best friends and cherish, protect and love each other dearly. 

 Here is my little lover-loo the day before her 1st birthday. 

Gracie Lynn Dalton, 12 mo.

I was blessed to have 2 sisters - Melissa and Megan. We likely didn't appreciate each other as much as we should of growing up, but we really did fall in love with each other as teenagers and young adults. My precious sister Melissa (one on the left) went to heaven when she was 21.... I was 24 and my youngest sister Megan was 18... Maybe that's why I have been praying that my kids would all love each other and really LIKE each other growing up, not only as adults... Time is precious and you never know how much you have with the people you love and adore. So, go tell your people how much you love them! 

Sweet Sisters....

Melissa (Left) , Heather (Center)  and Megan (Right) 

At the Center...

I love Jesus. Because of this, the Bible is the foundation that my life is built upon. Therefore I could not possibly talk about education, family, kids or other fun things without mentioning the One that created it all! The life manual (BIBLE) that He has given us has more insight into education than anything else out there you will find.                                                                                                                                      


A few days ago I wrote, The Power We Have, where I shared the Beautiful Cycle of motivating kids and the results it can have. What this cycle is built upon is not research, Marzano, great teachers or my insights – it is Jesus. Watch this. Research DOES tell us that effort increases ability. So does God’s word! Colossians 3:23-24 says Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart (EFFORT) as working for the Lord, not for man, since you know that you will receive an inheritance (REWARD) from the Lord as a reward.                                                                                                                                    


We also know from research that ‘Providing recognition for attainment of specific goals not only enhances achievement, but it stimulates motivation’. The Lord also talks about this


in His word: Proverbs 3:27 says 'Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due when it is in YOUR power to do so.' As adults we have power over kids. We are the ones that make everything happen for them, we are their advocates, we are the ones that can “make or break” their little spirits. We have the POWER to give them GOOD things – praise, encouragement, truth, education, a solid foundation – it is in OUR power to do this! When we do, it stimulates motivation and, well, you know the cycle by now I hope.         


At the center of the “cycle’ is Jesus and His word. He had this formula written long before any research study or educator discovered it. I LOVE that we have current studies to support His statements though. Fascinating to put them both together as they support each other so beautifully. Just more evidence about how brilliant and applicable God’s Word is to us today! 

The Power We Have!

I believe that what I am about to share is one of the most powerful insights into children and, if applied, can empower a child to greatness in every area of their life! Read this and it will change your life, or more importantly, your kids' life! Hold on, here we go. 


1) Effort Increases Ability
We know from Robert Marzano's book, Classroom Instruction that Works, that effort creates ability. We also know that students who are taught about this relationship between effort and ability can increase their achievement more than students who are taught techniques for time management and comprehension of new material. What am I talking about? Ok, basically when you teach a child that the amount of "effort" they put into something increase their ability (or I say "make your brains smarter") it increases their achievement (better grades, more retention of information, a smarter brain!) 


2) Positive Feedback/Praise Stimulates Motivation
We also know from countless research studies that providing recognition for attainment of specific goals not only enhances achievement, but stimulates motivation.

3) The Beautiful Cycle
Now put it all together! When you give a child positive feedback and praise for specific goals reached, it stimulates motivation, which increases their effort, which we know increases their ability! See that?!?!

• Enhanced Effort = Enhanced Achievement
• Enhanced Achievement = Attainment of a Goal 
• Attainment of a Goal = Positive Feedback/Praise Given
• Positive Feedback/Praise Given = Stimulates Motivation
• Stimulated Motivation = Enhanced Effort
• Enhanced Effort = Enhanced Achievement.......and so it goes!
• • • • • • • 
              

We have the amazing POWER as educators, parents and mentors to PRAISE a child to greatness! And the best part is it really works! Not only do we have countless research studies and educators to tell us, but I have SEEN it work in the most "unmotivated" of children! Powerful! So lets get out there and praise our kids!